Thursday, June 17, 2010

cheat meal and spin

So Tuesday i took my first spin class and i loved it! i cant wait till Tuesday to take another class! next week i will take the spin class on Tuesday and Thursday. i need to buy some gel shorts so my seat area doesn't hurt so much.
today was my cheat meal. yummy chips and queso was my treat. tomorrow is measurements, so we will see if i have any improvement. i think i will. i have been good this week. :)

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Monday, June 14, 2010

Where is my motivation?

It seems I have been neglecting you my blog.... I lost my motivation. I am just going through the motions - I go work out with my trainer 3 times a week, that should be a good thing, but my trainer pointed out today that sure I'm there, but why am I there? She has a point. I'm there because I paid for sessions and have a good time spot and don't want to not be there, but I should be there because I WANT TO BE THERE! I WANT TO BE HEALTHIER. I WANT TO WEIGH LESS. Now, how do I convince myself these things are true? That's the tricky part.
I know I want to weigh less and be healthier, but see, when I am tired all the time, my mind starts thinking sleeping is the answer to all or at least eating carbs and sugar because that gives me energy. I know I know, those options are bad, but when you can't stay awake long enough to eat dinner at the end of the day it's hard sometimes. I have no choice but to stay awake during work hours, I'm at work and value my job, so I make choices that help me short term, and that usually ends up hurting that weight loss goal.... What to do... Yes I am seeing a sleep doctor, but at this point we still have no answers, just meds to help stay awake. It's really hard not knowing sometimes because it is a never ending cycle. Yes yes I'm happy, it's not depression, it really is sleep issues, done the sleep study, but still not for sure answers on it. UGH!!!

So I am going to try to find my motivation again and try to start blogging again. Maybe it will help.

This week I have to try to get in 2 other days besides my days with the trainer. I get 2 cheat days each week per my trainer, but the rest of the week I must be good!!!!

So far today I had a 100 calorie chocolate milk and a quaker breakfast cookie... (Was feeling not hungry this morning before my workout so that was all I could stomach.)

Just boiled some eggs, so post workout is hard boiled egg and a banana.

Lunch will be a spicy peanut pasta with chicken - not the healthiest, but within my calorie goal.

Dinner is grilled steak and salad. Will try for a afternoon snack, but that is usually the hardest to squeeze in because of work. Will take with me though some cheese and a special k fruit crisp!