43 day until....

Well, I've made up my mind.  I'm doing this!  What you might ask?  I am having Adjustable Gastric Band Surgery.  Specifically, I will be have the Realize band implanted on February 9th.  I'm excited and ready for this much needed change.  I've tried and tried and tried to keep weight off in the past, but I always get hungry.  This is still going to take a lot of work on my part, but now I'll have a little help!  This is a huge step for me and I'm terrified of surgery however I know that this will help me be healthier.  Totally excite and of course a little scared but dear hubby is completely supportive of this.  I will be trying to blog more as the surgery date approaches and after of course!  

Wish me luck!  In the mean time, I will continue working out with my trainer 3 days a week up until my surgery date.  

Plus Sized

I hate shopping for new clothes, especially when I am shopping for new clothes because all my clothes are too small for me... That sucks. I ended up back at a plus size store.... :( I hate that feeling too.

In other news, my consultation with the weight loss surgery people went well. Next step - psychiatric evaluation. If I pass that okay, then I can start looking at scheduling the surgery. I think I will even though I'm terrified. Surgery scares the crap out of me, but hey, I've got to have some help. It won't be easy, but it's another tool to help me achieve my weight loss and I'm not afraid to admit, I NEED HELP!!! So, I'll keep educating myself on it and learning what I can to be successful and go from there.

Realize

Well, I have not posted anything for awhile again. I just cant seem to make the time to regularly post. My eating is ehhh okay, I am still working out3 days a week with my awesome trainer, but my weight has not moved from the 225 area... Blah.

DH and I went camping for a few days last week, that was fun! Camped on the beach and near the "treaty" line for any Twilight fans, and almost camped at Cape Disappointment, but ended up without dinner being packed for that night so we headed to a hotel.

Anyway though, since my last post I was also officially diagnosed with Sleep apnea. Been using my CPAP for some time now and it is starting to help!! I'm super excited!!!

Also, I have a consultation on Tuesday with the surgeon's office. I am considering Adjustable Gastric Band surgery. When my primary care doc told me I was morbidly obese it kind of hit me. Yes I know I'm overweight and that does not help my sleep apnea or anything else, but I always kind of figured I wasn't that overwieght. I work out and dont have too many other issues, but reality set it. I really am that overweight I guess. My stuggle is I am always always always hungry even if I just ate, so time for help!! I lost 70 lbs on my own before, but can't seem to do it again and I've gained 60 of that back! sheeshh.... Tuesday is the day to meet for the consultation and see where to go from here. Good thing is I know insurance will cover it. I already did my research on that end!

I will update again when I know more.

cheat meal and spin

So Tuesday i took my first spin class and i loved it! i cant wait till Tuesday to take another class! next week i will take the spin class on Tuesday and Thursday. i need to buy some gel shorts so my seat area doesn't hurt so much.
today was my cheat meal. yummy chips and queso was my treat. tomorrow is measurements, so we will see if i have any improvement. i think i will. i have been good this week. :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.3.4

Where is my motivation?

It seems I have been neglecting you my blog.... I lost my motivation. I am just going through the motions - I go work out with my trainer 3 times a week, that should be a good thing, but my trainer pointed out today that sure I'm there, but why am I there? She has a point. I'm there because I paid for sessions and have a good time spot and don't want to not be there, but I should be there because I WANT TO BE THERE! I WANT TO BE HEALTHIER. I WANT TO WEIGH LESS. Now, how do I convince myself these things are true? That's the tricky part.

I know I want to weigh less and be healthier, but see, when I am tired all the time, my mind starts thinking sleeping is the answer to all or at least eating carbs and sugar because that gives me energy. I know I know, those options are bad, but when you can't stay awake long enough to eat dinner at the end of the day it's hard sometimes. I have no choice but to stay awake during work hours, I'm at work and value my job, so I make choices that help me short term, and that usually ends up hurting that weight loss goal.... What to do... Yes I am seeing a sleep doctor, but at this point we still have no answers, just meds to help stay awake. It's really hard not knowing sometimes because it is a never ending cycle. Yes yes I'm happy, it's not depression, it really is sleep issues, done the sleep study, but still not for sure answers on it. UGH!!!

So I am going to try to find my motivation again and try to start blogging again. Maybe it will help.

This week I have to try to get in 2 other days besides my days with the trainer. I get 2 cheat days each week per my trainer, but the rest of the week I must be good!!!!

So far today I had a 100 calorie chocolate milk and a quaker breakfast cookie... (Was feeling not hungry this morning before my workout so that was all I could stomach.)

Just boiled some eggs, so post workout is hard boiled egg and a banana.

Lunch will be a spicy peanut pasta with chicken - not the healthiest, but within my calorie goal.

Dinner is grilled steak and salad. Will try for a afternoon snack, but that is usually the hardest to squeeze in because of work. Will take with me though some cheese and a special k fruit crisp!

workouts and milkshakes..

Had a fantastic workout today! Then took the dog to the vet. She's been sick. :( Then hubby invited me to his work to have lunch with him. YUM!!! but I had a milkshake that I totally did not need... Oh well, tomorrow is a new day! Looking forward to it!

tea, honey,happiness

So what a day! Slept in this morning and I feel pretty good. Had raspberry apple turnover from trader joes. Delicious!! They are not too sweet but yummy!! Hubby and I have these every weekend as our treat! Had a great smoothie with it! Then we cleaned house soome. I ate some string cheese and a mandarin as a snack and then we headed out to St. Edwards Park for a nice hike with the dog! On the way home, we stopped for lunch at our favorite greek place. I had a yummy beef slouvaki. Delish!!!!

after that, I was hungry the rest of the day.... argh! Drank some kefir and had a couple of mandarins. While I was cooking dinner, had a slice of toast with some butter. bad I know, but sooo good! Fixed ham and mashed taters for dinner with some green peas. then I finished my day with some hot chocolate as a treat and a cup of hot tea.

I am feeling good, tomorrow I'll be up early to have some oatmeal and go workout!! Then I am off for the day! Yay!!

2010

Well, it's 2010!! This will be a good year. 2009 was interesting! I had some successes and some difficulties. I am ready to keep up the hard work and get on the right path again!! My working out is good. It is my eating that is bad, so that it where I must improve!! Hubby and I will continue weekly date night. I can splurge and enjoy myself on that night. We are going to buy one treat a week and that's it. So one yummy treat from Trader Joe's. It might be a one night thing or a 2 night, but whatever, it is my treat that i will make room for. Other than that, I will start eating better!!!!